Saturday, February 20, 2016

Rum filled capuchin monkey branded terrorist against men

A group of bar patrons in Patos, Brazil were terrorized after a capuchin monkey ambled inside and proceeded to sample leftover rum on the tables.

After the creature had guzzled its fill, it came into possession of a kitchen knife almost as long as its body. With the weapon in hand, it began chasing the men in the establishment, it left the women alone.

Video footage captured on the scene shows the monkey on a roof with the knife, indiscriminately stabbing at shingles.
Firefighters were able to capture the monkey and release it back into the wild. Its antics soon attracted attention and alarm a second time, however, when residents living near the woods reported that it was behaving aggressively towards them.

The internet is rife with rumor and innuendo, with some saying it's an ISIS monkey that loves Obama, and probably killed Scalia with the knife. Others suggest a band of masked monkeys would drive ISIS into submission. Another group is blaming rabid feminist lesbians. Still others suggest a bar party really doesn't get started until the monkeys start a knife fight.